That Time That Literally Nothing Happened

That Time That Literally Nothing Happened

That’s right kids, it’s story time. Something that I haven’t done in a little while. I’ve had to wait a couple years on this one because only time would make this story less obvious about who it’s about for those who personally know me.

A few minor details will be changed for the sake of privacy, but the rest is real…no matter how weird it sounds. As we know, my dating stories aren’t typically described as normal. Let’s just jump in shall we?

So one day I saw this guy, he was BEAUTIFUL. Like 10/10. I remember thinking “Damn, I could never.”

Well fast forward and we started having conversations here and there.

I’m going to be honest, I really thought he was too hot for me. As much as I enjoyed our little chats, I really thought it would just be that. The man HAD to have a girlfriend right? Like someone beautiful can’t just be roaming around single. I must have “A GREAT FRIEND” tattooed on my forehead right? There’s literally no other reason for this guy to talk to me, right?

Well out of literally no where, I get a message from him on Facebook asking if I wanted to go to the movies with him. The funniest part is that he was still in the same building as me when he sent me the message.

While I wondered why he couldn’t just ask me in person instead of looking me up on FB and messaging me before even adding me as a friend, I also was like FUCK YA BITCH. SIGN ME UP.

So we agreed to go to the movies.

I was so nervous.

I probably changed outfits 172 times, and my palms were probably so clammy, ew.

We get to the movies.

We watched the movie.

We left the movies.

No literally, that was it. I think his arm brushed my arm like twice.

He walked me to my car, and I was thinking¬†‘OK this is it. Get ready.’

He gave me a hug and left in his car.

It was the most friend date ever.

The next day we went back to our usual routine of chatting some more here and there.

But it honestly just fizzled out.

Then randomly, he messages me on FB with tickets to a show in a different city, inviting me to go.

I deliberated but ultimately decided to go.

It was a classic fuck it moment.

I figured that traveling to a different city, watching the show, traveling back home would have to force his hand, right? Like he’d HAVE to give me something to work with, right?


We drove there, chatting non-stop. We talked about relationships, expectations, and he even said that his friends asked about me and he thought I was cute.


We walked around before the show, watched the show, drove back.

He dropped me off, hugging me goodbye.

That’s it. Again.

Cue eye roll. Even my parents were like Paula wtf.

My parents.

Even my parents wanted me to get action, and I couldn’t deliver.

Let that marinate in your head for a little.

OK, so fast forward even more (like months) and we started spending almost every weekend together. Hanging at his place, watching movies, joking around, going out to bars. We were like awesome friends who both found each other attractive. Even typing this now I’m wondering why nothing happened.

One day we were going to go out that evening so we started getting ready. I was doing my makeup and he went to change.

It had been like 10 minutes, so I left the bathroom where I was getting ready to ask him what shoes to wear (he had impeccable taste might I add) and I accidentally walked in on him changing.

I froze and started apologizing. He looked at me and said, “Paula, it’s not like you haven’t seen anything like this before.”

I was dead. Deceased.

I return to the bathroom to finish up my makeup and he comes in to do his hair.

We looked like a married couple getting ready together.

I again thought to myself,¬†‘OK this has to be it. Something has to happen.’

We go out with him and his friends, and we’re having a great time. A few drinks in he sits me down and we start talking.

He tells me he has feelings for me. I internally threw myself a fucking party. FINALLY AFTER MONTHS HE TELLS ME.

I tell him I too had feelings for him.

Things are looking awesome.

He drops me off at the end of the night, kissing me on the cheek.

This is where things get weird(er).

We continued hanging out together. We’d cuddle a little bit in a VERY PG way, but that was it.

We never kissed. We never held hands. We never literally did a single thing.

After a while, things just fizzled. My feelings for him lessened more and more, and he continued doing whatever it was that he was doing.

We ultimately became close friends. Even to this day, we don’t spend time together anymore but him and I have a special bond. He’s moved on (if he ever had to move on, I still don’t know) and I of course did too.

Typing out this story was weird because it feels like an incomplete story. Not in the sense that there are any unresolved feelings or anything, but in the sense that I still to this day don’t understand what the hell we were doing back then.

I’m glad we’re friends and can’t see him any other way, and I’m sure he feels the same.

My friends and I have gone through several hypotheses. Is he closet gay? Was he just shy? Was this whole thing a giant misunderstanding? Was I on drugs this entire time? Was my life just made for writing weird dating stories?

We will never know for sure.

All I know is that years later, I’m glad I can finally tell this story.


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