How To Lose Your Dating Anxiety
When I started this blog, I was fearlessly dating around, but it wasn’t always like that. In fact, I think I kind of sucked at dating in the beginning.
I can be a really awkward human sometimes, and when I first started dating around, I didn’t have my awkwardness completely handled. I had anxiety driving to the dates. I had no idea what I was doing.
So, I decided to say fuck it and put an end to my dating anxiety.
The way I started giving less of a shit was actually a complete accident.
When I was on my way to a date, I sensed my heart rate start going out of control. All the usual anxiety suspects started showing up – cold sweats, negative self talk, shallow breathing, etc. so I quickly turned on the radio. Britney Spears’ Work B**Ch came on, and I found myself singing along. I felt my heart rate slow down, my sweating was minimal, and I started feeling so much better.
As I walked up to my date, I gave myself a mini pep talk and walked over with a smile. The date was fine, no disasters happened and he wasn’t the worst person ever. Awesome.
Although I didn’t see my date again, I felt pretty good about the date. When it came time for my next date with a new guy, I sensed my anxiety start back up. As I drove to the date, I shit you not, Britney fucking Spears’ Work B**Ch came on. Like a sign from the gods, I sang along and felt much more at ease.
The date went super well and I had a great time.
I’m not a superstitious person, but I felt like I HAD to adopt this Brit ritual before every date. It was absolutely ridiculous but it worked. I’d play the song on the way to my date, I’d give myself a mini pep talk, and I’d show up to my date feeling confident and at ease.
One day when I was on my way to a date, I started looking up the song and suddenly stopped when I realized I didn’t need to. I wasn’t nervous at all even though this was a date with a new stranger from Tinder.
Much like when you’re interviewing for jobs, the more interviews you go to the less nervous you really are. I adopted this ritual to ease my nerves and kept making myself go on dates until I finally was comfortable.
Now, I know that I could go on just about any date and not be nervous, but excited.
The Girl with a Heart on Her Middle Finger