Overcoming a Broken Heart

Overcoming a Broken Heart

There is no magic pill that will relieve you from a broken heart. Heartbreak is a really, really painful experience. It’s both emotionally and physically taxing, and you feel like your heart is literally getting ripped out of you.

I’ve been there. I’m sure you’ve been there, too.

I remember my most painful heartbreak like it was yesterday. I’ve always considered myself a strong person, but there were days I’d be staring at my computer at my desk and have to rush to the restroom to wipe the tears that filled my eyes as I thought about what was no longer mine.

It was hard.

I heard the usual advice given by everyone.

“Take time for yourself, pick up new hobbies, hang out with friends…” Blah, blah, blah.

It all sounds great until you’re on the receiving end. The last thing you want to do is pick up a fucking hobby when all you want to do is lay in bed. Be real, Karen.

I remember one day I was laying in bed. I wanted to cry, but it felt like I had finally run out of tears. I noticed that I found myself at a fork in the road. I had two options:

  1. I could continue to let myself feel miserable.
  2. I could do something about it and be proactive about my feelings.

So, luckily, I chose the latter.

Because this particular instance was so hard for me, I wanted to record the pain I was feeling. Like, really record it.

I took out a piece of paper and wrote down every single thing I was feeling. Whether it was anger, worthlessness, low self confidence, etc.

I wrote down every feeling I was having in great detail and formatted it into a letter to myself.

Stay with me here.

The letter was a reminder for my future self to be conscious of my choices. To be smart about who I let into my life in a deep level. To be protective of my feelings. To never allow someone to have the ability to break me a much as I had been broken.

I also reminded myself to remain open. To not let previous experiences taint my future ones. To not be bitter. To trust people but not blindly.

I folded it up and hid it in my room in a place I knew I never looked.

Months and months went by. By this point I was seeing someone and was content.

One night I was sitting in my room and something told me to look in that hidden spot. Not remembering I had put anything there, I was surprised to find a wrinkled, folded up letter to myself.

It was the most amazing moment. I got to read the words I had so strongly written to myself, demanding that I never let anyone hurt me the way I was hurt before while remaining soft and loving.

It felt like the closure I needed. It was closure of the pain I had felt, and it was a way to say goodbye to the weak person I had become – the person who allowed someone’s actions to completely dictate my emotions.

Since then, my perspective on dating and relationships have shifted. Of course we want things to work out and be perfect and happy all the time, but that’s clearly not always going to be the case. However, every relationship, friendship and experience is placed before us as a way for us to learn and grow. Had this previous experience not happened, I don’t think I’d be as strong as I am now.

I know how painful a heartbreak of any kind can be. Trust me, I get it. But at the end of the day, one thing ends so that something better can begin. Once you able to become at peace with this and you are able to forgive yourself for having these feelings of pain, life becomes easier.

Allow yourself time to grieve. Don’t judge the feelings that come your way. But also take this time to decide where you want to go from this, and remind yourself of these things later on down the road.

Allow yourself time to grieve. Don't judge the feelings that come your way. But also take this time to decide where you want to go from this, and remind yourself of these things later on down the road. Click To Tweet

Love, 

The Girl With a Heart on Her Middle Finger

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