Your Go-To Guide For Deciding If You Should Snoop Through Your Partner’s Phone
It’s safe to say you at one point in any relationship have considered snooping through your partner’s phone. Whether they just left it on the table and went to take a shower, or you actually think he/she is hiding something, you’ve definitely thought about going through their phone.
I’ve brought this topic up to a lot of people. I’m interested in seeing other people’s opinions. And dude, I totally get how someone could argue that it’s OK to snoop if they think something is going on. They need to verify what they’re feeling is valid, and I’m not here to tell you that’s not a good point.
I’m here to tell you why you shouldn’t snoop through someone’s messages unless you’re fully prepared to end a relationship. Stay with me here, I know this isn’t an easy one.
It’s you, not them
This isn’t the easiest pill to swallow, but when you’re thinking about going through your partner’s phone, it’s saying a lot more about you than it is him/her. When you’re thinking about going through your partner’s phone, there is a part of you that’s doubting yourself. Take your partner out of the equation for a quick second while I spell this out. There is a part of you who thinks, “I am not good enough.” And I completely get it. No one is going to feel like a 10/10 if you feel like your partner is being less than faithful. But at the end of the day, snooping through every little message is just a way for you to search for validation where you’re not really getting it.
One thing leads to another
OK, so let’s say you end up snooping juuuuuuuussssssttttttt this once. You go through your partner’s phone, but don’t really end up finding anything worth noting. A few months go by, and you find yourself itching to look through his phone again. Next thing you know, it becomes a habitual action. The thing about snooping is that you’re either going to find something you don’t like, or you’ll keep looking until you find something you don’t like.
You won’t get what you want
Going off of my point above, you’re never going to walk away from snooping feeling satisfied. If you’re snooping through messages, you’re already in the mindset that there is something in there you won’t like. So when you come across an extra exclamation point at the end of a sentence, it may cause you to spiral. Not to say that what you could be seeing could be the case, but what I am saying is that chances are you could read into things that wouldn’t usually bother you.
So you snooped, and found something you didn’t like. Now what? Well unfortunately you’ve found yourself in a tough spot pal. You have two options: One, you could come out to your partner with the truth. By doing this, you will have to admit fault for betraying their trust and if you guys decide to stay together, the trust on both ends will need some serious work. Two, you could choose to not say anything in order to hide the fact that you went snooping. This is probably worse. You’ll have those thoughts in the back of your mind and you’ll probably continue snooping until it inevitably comes out.
So what should I do?
Relationships are tough. That’s a given. Even the best relationships have problems. The tricky thing about relationships is that you have to give your partner your trust and vice versa. You can’t control what your partner does. If you are in a relationship where you feel like you need to snoop, I think that says a lot about the relationship. And don’t think I’m saying you shouldn’t snoop at all. I’m saying that if you really, really want to, you’ll need to take a long hard look at the trust and communication in your relationship and you’ll also have to face the fact that you’ll probably find something in there that you didn’t want to see.