Three Reasons Men Play Games and How to Deal With it
We’ve heard it a lot. Think of the last girl’s night and the amount of times “fuck boy” was said as the wine keeps pouring. Yes, we’ve heard about it multiple times – guys play games. But honestly? So do girls. We all play games, whether we like to admit it or not.
Let’s focus on guys first, and I’ll shift to girls in the next post.
So, why do guys play games with us?
Yes, you read that right. There is some success that comes with playing games. There is a thrill in the chase. A lot of us can agree that the unpredictability drives us to want someone even more than before. But the problem with playing games is that it can become habitual. The game can sometimes become the sole reason for desire. Most importantly, people get sick of games. The chase was cute for a minute, but now that you’ve gotten our attention, can we get a little consistency?
When it comes to dealing with guys who love the game is to honestly not deal with it at all. When you show no amusement to the little games, he’ll either freak the fuck out and take you more seriously, or he won’t and that means he didn’t take you seriously in the first place. Either way, you’ll get your answer without having to deal with him being hot and cold every 12 minutes.
2. Commitment issues
Commitment issues are so real. I have commitment issues with finishing tv shows, basically the same thing.
Commitment issues can come from different streams. There are commitment issues caused from pain in a previous relationship or just fear of getting hurt at all. Baggage from previous relationships or fear that he’ll lose all his freedom from being single are the most common reasons for having this fear of commitment.
Dealing with a guy with commitment issues isn’t an easy task. It mostly depends on how much you’re willing to deal with. If this isn’t something that bothers you, take things really, really slow with these guys. They need time to realize that by dating you, they’re not losing all this freedom they originally put in their heads. You’re an addition to his life, not a subtraction of the things he enjoys. Show him that, but also be patient. These guys need things to be slow af.
3. You’re just an option
I know, brutal to read. If you’re feeling like he’s stringing you along with no sign of future plans, a desire to take you on real dates or any consistency at all, you’re probably not a priority to him, girl. And that’s totally and completely OK. Like I’ve forced down your throats, dating is all good. If someone doesn’t necessarily see you as their priority, move on because someone else absolutely will.
When it comes to dealing with someone who only sees you as an option, the first thing to do is not take it personally. Think about it, you’ve absolutely done the exact same thing to someone else before. How I always try to look at things is quite simple. If you were the guy in this situation, how would you want the girl to react? I’m assuming that the more your option B chases you and begs for your attention, the less likely you’ll stay interested. If option B starts to move away and give you less attention, you either won’t notice because you’re into option A, or the fact that option B is slipping away will cause you to give her more attention and see what’s going on.
It’s important to consider the other person’s perspective. It’s so easy for us to focus on how we’re feeling while missing the big picture. Think of the situation as if you were the other person, and I’m sure you’ll get some answers that way.
With all this being said, you never want to settle for less than you deserve. Honesty also goes a long way. If you don’t feel like you’re getting a clear idea of where things are heading, communicate that. I’m not saying you should tell him your five-year plan and how he fits into it. I’m saying you can easily tell him what you want and don’t want, and what you’re appreciating and not appreciating that he’s doing. Having that honest communication can help clarify things. And if it doesn’t work out with one guy, I can guarantee there are five other guys waiting for you to give him a chance.
The Girl with a Heart on Her Middle Finger