Eight Pieces of Dating Advice I’d Give to my Younger Self
Being in your 20’s is a weird time. Half your friends are engaged, married or pregnant and the other half are getting wasted and having one night stands with the Brads and Chads of the world.
I have a multitude of friends who are all in different stages. I have married friends, I have virgin friends, I have friends who can’t stay single for more than a week, I have bat shit crazy friends.
And what all these friends have in common is that they all ask for advice when it comes to relationships. That’s just what us gals do.
I noticed certain trends in some of the advice I offer, which made me think about the advice I’d give to my daughter or just my younger self.
So let’s get to it shall we:
1) Make out with whomever, whenever
The cool thing about making out is that it’s really not serious. A little make out probably won’t be something you regret and judge yourself for. So go out there and do your thing. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
2) Your first heartbreak won’t be your last
We all remember how painful our first heartbreak was. It felt like the world was ending and we’d never find someone quite like them. Luckily, we’ll probably find someone better. And they might break your heart too. And the cycle will continue until you find that one special someone to call yours forever.
3) Date often but be your favorite date of all time
You know how I feel about dating. Dating is the BEST way to learn about yourself in all aspects. But don’t ever feel like you NEED someone or that you NEED to be in a relationship. You need to be comfortable on your own before getting into something with someone else. Cherish your time alone. Love yourself more than anyone else.
4) Saying no is hot
Pressure is a real thing. It’s easy to feel like you need to say yes to something. But listen to your gut, set boundaries and say no to anything and everything you don’t feel comfortable with.
5) Take risks
Guarding yourself from ever getting hurt may sound ideal, but what you’re really giving up is any chance of vulnerability. And without vulnerability, are you even having something real? So, would you rather take a risk and tell someone how you feel or just have your guard up and never open up?
6) Give up on the idea of perfection
Perfection is portrayed in all sources of media. Perfect skin, perfect body, perfect relationship, perfect everything. Perfect isn’t real. Stop trying to be perfect and find perfect. Instead, find someone who matches your weirdness, makes you laugh and makes you a better person.
7) Trust is super important
It may sound cliche to say but trust and communication are THE MOST important aspects in a relationship. Don’t @ me.
Not only do you want to trust your partner when he’s out with the guys and your out with the girls, but you also want to trust your partner with your feelings and opinions. If something is bothering you, you want to trust that your partner will to allow you to express these feelings without judgement or deflection.
8) Don’t assume
I’ve made assumptions a thousand times before and I’ve been wrong about them 999 times. Instead of assuming how he feels about x,y and z, just ask.