Reader Submission – I Love You and My Ex Hates Me

He moved here just for me.

I was 17 and he was 22. I had dreams of going to college and getting a good job for myself.

So he moved to Gainesville just for me, got a shit job and worked hard. We spent three years together, so of course we talked about marriage and sharing a life together.
Our lives made sense. We were doing everything right.

Until I met him. No, not the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, someone different. Someone who changed my life forever.

It started so late in the semester, I didn’t even see it coming. We spent an entire semester in class together, never sharing a word. One day, we joined the same study group for our class final. Our group decided to meet downtown at a restaurant to study. Out of the entire class, only two people showed up. Me and him. We sat at the restaurant and talked for two hours. It felt easy.
We exchanged numbers afterwards…you know, in case we needed something for school, right? Totally.

We exchanged messages every single day after that.

I told myself over and over again that it was fine. We were just friends from school, right? I even told him I had a boyfriend. He backed off a bit, but we still chatted constantly and would meet up sometimes for lunch or whatever. It was innocent.

But I couldn’t help but catch myself thinking about him all the time. We found ourselves hanging out more and more, while I found myself lying to my boyfriend about the places we’d go and the amount of time we were actually spending together.

We were still just friends, but without saying anything at all, we both knew we wanted more.

As time went on, we got closer and closer. Lunch together became drinks with just each other or his close friends.

On one of these days in particular, I drank way too much. Not like, “I think I’m drunk,” too much. I mean, I blacked out and threw up all over his friend’s bathroom drunk. Oops.

When I woke up the next morning, I realized I was still at his friend’s house.

No only did I wake up confused but I also woke up to a very angry boyfriend wondering where I was all night.

I lied to him. Not just because I knew he’d be upset, but also because I didn’t cheat, and to me that was the most important part.

Even with all this, I still found myself wanting to spend more and more time with the other guy.

I had so much fun whenever I was with him, and never wanted our time together to end.

Eventually the day came where he finally told me what I was waiting for him to say. He told me he wanted more with me, but that me having a boyfriend hindered him from being able to do anything about it.
What most people don’t see in situations like this is that it’s actually a very scary and confusing place to be in. I’m living with my current boyfriend, while I’m falling in love with another man. A man who I can’t stop thinking about. A man who makes time stop and go by faster all at the same time.

I knew something needed to change.

I decided that I needed to go back home to my parents’ house. I needed to be alone and think things through.

I told my boyfriend I would just be gone for a few days.

I never came back. And I never looked back.

Instead, I told the other guy that I moved out of the apartment and that my boyfriend and I were finally broken up.
A weight was lifted off our shoulders. Finally, we exchanged the words we had been wanting to say to each other for a while now.

Meanwhile, my ex hated me. He called me every name in the book. To be honest, I don’t blame him. Although I know that I hadn’t cheated on him, I was emotionally cheating on him for a while. I felt terrible about it. I never wanted to hurt anyone.

Fast forward to where we are now, and we’ve been living together and just purchased our first house together. The path to get here wasn’t the easiest, but whenever I look at the life I have now and who I get to share it with, I know that it was all worth it in the end.

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