I like you, I like you…not?
I will admit my more recent guys have been way more promising than even I ever expected.
There’s a thin line between how much time I give before writing about a guy I’ve dated and when it’s still too soon to talk about.
This guy is right at the cut off point.
Wanna guess where I met him?
I met him on Bumble.
Bet you were expecting to read something about Social or Tinder, weren’t you? Step your game up, guys.
He was really cute, seemed pretty relaxed and there was something special about him that drew me in.
We started talking back and forth and he quickly asked for my number.
He was different than most.
And by that I mean he wrote to me every fucking day, literally all the time. If I didn’t respond, he wouldn’t be ashamed to double text me. Ballsy young man in a generation like ours.
The constant messaging didn’t annoy me as much as I thought it would. In fact, I actually really liked how he wasn’t afraid to express interest (more on that to come).
We finally made plans to grab drinks.
He was even better looking in person and had a laid-back style that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Although visually he was already a catch, my favorite quality of his was how funny he was. I already laugh at basically anything anyone ever says, but with him I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. He had this fun vibe to him that I couldn’t get enough of.
However, there were some concerns too. Shortly into our date, I realized that he didn’t have the fullest intention of being an adult quite yet. Homie was 27, yet he still hung out with 18 year old sorority girls who asked him to buy them alcohol. Because of this, a friend and I named him Risky Business. Get it? Lolz. (Thanks for the suggestion, D.)
Sure, he hung out with different groups of people, but come on.
When he told me about this, I couldn’t help but get extremely turned off. We all know the only reason a 27-year-old is hanging with 18 year olds, and it’s not because they share common interests and life goals.
I let that red flag wave in the wind, but I didn’t stop it from ruining anything. Besides, I wasn’t trying to find a husband anyway, just someone to kick it with. He seemed like a kick it kind of guy.
We decided to relocate to a different bar.
I figured that after a few more drinks in him, I’d discover if what he really was like and I would then decide how I felt about him.
We got in line at the next bar, and that’s when I realized I was in for quite a treat.
From the second we were in line to the end of the date, girl after girl would stop him to say hi. It got so exhausting. He would introduce me each time, and each time I felt myself getting more and more bored with the constant interruptions.
I could see him thriving off of the attention, as he kept looking for a reaction on my face. Disappointingly enough for him however, my face didn’t give away how I was actually feeling.
I sat there, looking unbothered af while I met girl after girl named Emily, Rachel and probably Tiffany but I honestly wasn’t paying attention.
That’s not even the best part though.
While at the bar, two of my guy friends saw me and ran up to say hi. We chatted for maybe 40 seconds before I said bye to them.
RB looked at me and asked, “Who were those guys?” He looked very bothered.
I told him where I knew them from but couldn’t help but think, ‘Is this guy fucking serious?’
Soon, a group of three girls and one guy comes up to him and begin talking. I sat there, watching a basketball game when I finally thought, ‘What the actual fuck am I doing here?’
So I got up, interrupted the 183rd pointless conversation I heard that night, and told him I was leaving.
I’ve never seen someone get so scared in my life. He jumped up, and quickly went into crisis mode, apologizing, trying to fix the situation.
I told him it was late and that I wasn’t interested in staying any longer.
He grabbed my arm and looked me straight into my eyes.
With locked eyes he said, “Please let me take you to dinner, just us two, no one else. Please.”
The puppy eyes were so real.
I told him sure, but I honestly wasn’t even sure if I was actually going to go through with it. All I wanted to do was leave, sit in bed and read a good fucking book (luckily this was achieved shortly after).
He asked me again, telling me he didn’t believe I’d even text him back if he asked me to dinner. To which I responded, “Guess you’ll find out.” It was going to be a surprise for both him and me.
I hugged him and left.
The next day I expected not to hear from him.
I figured with ample options who were clearly way more down for him than I was, he wouldn’t want to put in all that effort.
Surprisingly enough, he messaged me, and we made plans to see each other again.
I admired his desire to try again and maybe not fuck it up this time.
Our second date was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.
We went to a nice dinner and blah blah blah.
But it wasn’t the dinner that made it so great, it was the company. We ordered a ton of items off the menu, taste-tested everything from food to alcohol and I couldn’t stop laughing and enjoying all the funny stories he told me.
It was going so great, that once the night was seemingly over, neither of us wanted it to end. So we decided to go to a bar.
We were having a good time when a few people who interrupted our first date showed up. I was expecting a major disappointing act from him, BUT the man learned.
He said hi to them, reintroduced me and told them bye in less than a minute.
But here’s where things go kind of south.
He had mentioned to me at dinner that I suck at texting back.
I’m not going to argue that. In fact, I will openly agree. I suck.
And I told him that. I even said I would make more of an effort to suck less.
So we’re leaving the bar and he walks me to my car. I thought the date had gone well and was happy to leave on a good note.
But instead, he turns to me and says, “I feel like you don’t show me that you like me enough.”
I was so shook by this because it was our second time ever hanging out. He starts getting kind of upset and tells me that I just don’t “act like it.”
To which I responded, “It’s our second date. I’m still getting to know you.”
He rolls his eyes, clearly still frustrated.
But then, still frustrated, he leans in and like angrily kisses me?
I can’t even describe it besides it feeling like I had gotten into a disagreement with my boyfriend of like four years, but he wasn’t mad enough to where he couldn’t kiss me goodbye.
Talk about a solid first kiss.
It was so weird.
So I awkwardly thank him for the date (???), and tell him I would be sure to text him first this time.
He beat me to it.
Thought that counts?
Fast forward and literally nothing changed.
On one particular night, I was out with friends and so was he. We met up, we chatted, and I made a joke about one of our dates we went on. He laughed at my joke, but all of a sudden gets kind of upset again. Not in a bipolar way. But more in a way like he was sitting on this thought for a while. He again tells me that he feels like I don’t like him enough. At this point, I tell him, “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here talking to you.”
Clearly still annoyed with me, he finally let it all out and told me what’s up.
He gets up and says, “You know what? If a challenge is what you want, I can be that for you. I’ll be your challenge, Paula.” And he WALKS AWAY.
No bye. No LOL at the end. Nothing. Homie just left.
I lowkey applauded him because he finally told me how he really felt. I also felt a little bad. I genuinely liked this guy and tried showing him in a normal way.
I didn’t really know what else to do, so I texted him before I left and never got a response.
So, want to know how the story ends?
The story ends like this:
We chatted a few more times, but even with me putting in more effort, it wasn’t enough for him and he just gave up.
I was so confused at first.
But once I thought about it all, it made sense.
He’s used to being that guy who goes out and has girls coming up to him all night, showering him with attention and affection. Based off our first date, I could tell how much getting all of that attention made him feel great.
I’m not that kind of girl, especially if I’m still getting to know you.
Because of our difference in this viewpoint, we were never going to work out.
As much as I could be more affectionate and all that, I still don’t think it would’ve been enough, which is such a shame.
The only saving grace would be if we both met in the middle. I put in more effort, he stops needing constant affirmation.
Yet, with all of this being said, I have a feeling that we’ll reconnect in the near future and who knows where it’ll go.
Will it go far? Doubt it.
Until then, I’ll keep the stories coming.
The Girl With a Heart on Her Middle Finger